Geansai Gorm. Blue Jumpers. Damien Mulley competition.

Geansai Gorm is the Google search term that everyone hopes will return their own page at the top ranking position

Damien Mulley has started a competition to fine the best SEO in Ireland. Here's what he said :

"You have until December 1st at 3pm to rank your website for the following phrase: geansai gorm. Yup, we’re using a phrase as gaelige in order as as not to pollute the indices as much as possible."

So anyway, I've made my own feeble attempt here geansaí gorm.

More feverish blogging to follow!!!

Oh, and by the way, 'Geansai Gorm' means 'Blue Jumper'.

Green Lantern Movie

Earlier this year I made a fake movie trailer based on the DC Comics superhero Green Lantern and stuck it up on YouTube. It's now had nearly 200,000 views and loads of really positive comments. It also now pops up as video link on Google first page results for 'Green Lantern'.



There IS a live-action Green Lantern Movie in production from Warner Bros. Greg Berlanti (Broken Hearts Club, Dawson's Creek, Brothers and Sisters) is directing and co-writing with Marc Guggenheim and Michael Green (Batman, Spiderman & various other comic writing credits). By all accounts the film will focus on Hal Jordan (Silver Age GL). Try Googling 'Green Lantern Movie' for more info.

And for those (shame on you) that don't know who 'Green Lantern' is - here's a fine rundown courtesy of Wikipedia. And here is the origin story courtesy of DC.

My Green Lantern trailer was put together mainly just as a bit of fun - also as a bit of practice using After Effects plug-ins and 3D modelling. An earlier attempt is also on YouTube here.

Anyway - I hope you like the Green Lantern trailer - and that you're looking forward to the real thing! Please feel free to comment :)

Laura White Petition

Seems like I wasn't the only mug punter slightly bewildered by the sudden exit of Laura from X-Factor. BBC News is reporting that over 6000 people have now signed an online petition : Laura White was ROBBED! Funny that quite a few of the signatures are from people bad-mouthing the lovely Laura and telling their fellow signatories to 'get a life' - presumably the kind of life spent signing petitions they don't agree with...

Anyway, once the petition clocks up twenty or thirty thousand signatures I'm sure Cowell will start sniffing a Number One single lurking there somewhere.

Laura White X-Factor Vote-Off Shock

There seems to have a bit of mix-up with last night's X-Factor. For some reason the series winner Laura White ended up in the bottom two and then got voted off by mistake by the Judges. I'm sure there'll be some kind of investigation, and I expect she'll be allowed to rejoin the programme next week.

And what a shame that Diana was too poorly to sing. I was really looking forward to hearing her 'unique' Dolores O'Riordan-style yodelling again.

Brand and Ross to be burnt at stake

From the BBC website - some more nonsense from England.
You couldn't make it up.

"A twin effigy of Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand will be set on fire as part of a Kent bonfire society's Guy Fawkes celebrations. The celebrity guy depicts Ross clutching a BBC contract in his right hand and holding a dog with Brand's head under his left arm. Edenbridge Bonfire Society will burn the effigy in Edenbridge on Saturday. Members of the society said they thought the shamed celebrities would be the ideal topical choice for their annual guy."

Who Do I Think I Am? (2)

I've been doing a bit of research into my family tree.

In my last post I described how I'd managed to trace my roots back as far as Ragnar Lodbrok Siggurdsson - semi-legendary King of Sweden from the eighth or ninth century (not to be confused with Ragnar Sigurðsson, the 21st century Icelandic footballer).

The emphasis here is 'semi-legendary' - once your family tree connects with one of those crusty old Vikings frankly you can trace it back to wherever you please. Once I got to King Ivar Vidfamne (via Ragnar's grandmother Aud) I was connected with the Skjöldungar - legendary Kings of the Danes which means, basically, that I'm directly descended from Odin, King of the Gods.

As an aside - it's worth mentioning here that I've owned a copy of Snorri Sturluson's Edda for years and years, but never bothered to read it. In it, (to quote from wikipedia) he proposes the theory that "mythological gods begin as human war leaders and kings whose funeral sites develop cults. As people call upon the dead war leader as they go to battle, or the dead king as they face tribal hardship, they begin to venerate the figure. Eventually, the king or warrior is remembered only as a god. He also proposed that as tribes defeat others, they explain their victory by proposing that their own gods were in battle with the gods of the others."

So, according to the Prose Edda, Odin is directly descended from Mennon (Munon) of Troy (who incidentally, was married to the daughter of King Priam of 'Trojan War' fame). Some sources give Memnon/Mennon/Munon a father named Tithonius, who apparently was the great-great-great grandson of Dardanus(King of Arcadia), who in turn was one of the many offspring of Zeus. Which still makes me directly descended from the King of the Gods, only Greek ones this time.

Unless you believe those other sources which cite Dara/Dardanus as the child of Zerah, son of Judah. Which, I have to say, is all rather convenient - because Zerah is the son of Judah, son of Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham... blah blah blah blah... all the way back to the beginning.

So, it turns out I'm a direct descendant of Adam and Eve.

But then aren't we all?

Who Do You Think You Are? Ancestry, Family Trees and my Viking roots

Who Do I Think I Am?

I've been half-heartedly tracing my family tree for a while now, and recently made a rather startling breakthrough.

The name 'AFFORD' is not really that common - in fact it seems that ALL Affords can be traced back to the same family from the small village of Oundle in Northamptonshire. My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather it turns out was a chap named John Aford. Spelling wasn't so great back in those days - his son is recorded as John A'foord (b 1686), but his son and all subsequent descendants all spelt the surname as 'Afford'. But sadly that is as far as I (or anyone else) has managed to trace the name. I'm told it's probably down to the fact that records go a bit sketchy around the time of the Civil War.

But the family tree doesn't stop there.

My great-great-great-great-grandfather John Afford (1767-1854) married Mary Glitherow (1760-1842). I can trace her ancestry directly from father to father back to Roger de Montgomery (1052-1123) - Lord of Lancaster and Honour of Clitherow (hence Mary's surname). Roger's father was Roger 'The Great' de Montgomerie, First Earl of Shrewsbury - born in Normandy and by all accounts one of William the Conquerer's trusted advisors.

If we pop back four more generations we get to Roger de Monte Gomeric - born in 904 at Monte Gomeric, Normandy. Now, his father was Gomeric Yngvarsson - a proper Viking from Denmark, son of Igvar (Ingvar/Yngvar) Ragnarsson, son of Ragnar 'Lodbrok' ('Hairy Breeches') Siggurdsson.

I Googled this Ragnar fellow and he turns out to be a 'semi-legendary king of Sweden and Denmark who reigned sometime in the eighth or ninth centuries. According to the Danish chronicler Saxo Grammaticus, Ragnar belonged to the Swedish Yngling Dynasty. Both Saxo and Icelandic sources describe him as the son of Sigurd Ring, a king of Sweden who conquered Denmark, but they are divided on whether Ragnar mainly resided in Sweden or in Denmark'.

Blimey. The King of Sweden....

Anyway. That's all for now. I will reveal the rest of my research next time...

My son's first shoes

We drove up to Enniskillen for a spot of shopping. And we got Harry measured up and bought him his first pair of shoes.

How strange to see him suddenly just that little bit taller.
Babe no more. He's a proper little boy now.

'Dead Set' (E4). Big Brother. Zombies. Do you see what they did there?

Wasn't it ever so clever? That whole Big Brother scenario?? Ooooh look - aren't the viewers just like a load of zombies? Oooo - the contestants are just fodder to satisfy the cravings of a reality-hungry audience? Ooooh look - it works on so many levels.

Well, not for me it didn't. That one level was worked on so heavy-handedly there wasn't much room for anything else. So when we finally get to the (sigh) inevitable shots of zombies staring at TVs and zombies staring back, I'm thinking 'Enough already! I got the idea f---ing days ago!!'. I knew I should have waited for the omnibus edition. Then it might have all seemed a bit snappier.

Now don't get me wrong...

I do think that Charlie Brooker is a proper talent (I've often sat zombie-like myself in front of 'Screenwipe' well into the early hours). And of course, Davina 'zomb-ed' up a treat. It's just that maybe from Charlie Brooker I was expecting something... I don't know... more cleverer.

Still, fair play for sticking the credits on a website.

Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand. And Manuel.

One thing I definitely don't miss since leaving Britain for Ireland is a Daily Mail-fuelled media feeding frenzy.

What the hell was that all about anyway? From reading some of the reports you might have thought that Ross, Brand, and a gang of hoodies had gone round Manuel's house, trampled his flowerbeds, stuck bangers in his turn-ups, and generally terrorised him like poor Dolores from 'Fair City'.

Seems instead it was a series of messages left on his phone. And at the heart of the whole sorry episode were some apparently upsetting jibes about Brand's alleged liason with Manuel's grand-daughter. Yeah, right.

It can't possibly have been those other remarks that really got Manuel's goat. Like the fact that he's famous for playing a Spanish waiter over 30 years ago and hardly anything else since.

Come on. It should have been Manuel's agent who made the public apology. 'I'm terribly sorry, but yes, I should really have got Manuel a few more gigs over the years.'

Now don't get me wrong...

I'm not in favour of any kind of bullying or harrassment (even if it has some intrinsic comedy value - which in this case is questionable). Of course not. And if 'former Fawlty Towers star Andrew Sachs' (as he's described by The Guardian, BBC, Sky News, and just about everyone else) says he's been harrassed, then we have to take his word for it. And it's true - he does seem to be a genuinely lovely old fella. And nobody likes getting prank calls right?

Quite where the Satanic Sluts (59,000 hits on Google and counting) fit into all this, I couldn't really say.

Still, it gave Middle England a chance to froth at the mouth for a couple of days and have a good old moan about the BBC going to the dogs. Yeah, of course it is. Utterly dreadful old rubbish the lot of it and not a patch on the old days when I was a lad etc etc.

Trouble is, if the Daily Mail ran enough double page spreads about it, we'd find ourselves with a 20,000 signature petition to bring back the 'Black and White Minstrel Show'.

Anyway. There we are. Rant over. But if you're still following the story - here's the latest on the 'BBC Radio Phone Filth Scandal' from The Sun)

Lottie Dobson

Well now.
Who's this then??
Yes. It's Lottie Dobson!